Learn From The Mistakes Of Others

This week we talked about divorce, and coming from a family where there have been multiple divorces, most of the things that we talked about seem familiar to me. My mom's parents were divorced and remarried. My parents were divorced a few years ago. The divorce that my parents went through wasnt like the typical divorce where a couple fights and isn't willing to work things out. My father got in a lot of trouble with the law and my mom was actually counseled to divorce him because of the circumstances. I know it has been said that those who come from divoreced families have a greater chance of being divorced themselves, but I want to be different. I know that marriage is hard work and that there will be problems, but I feel like i have the knowledge and resources to work through the issues that arise during marriage. It has been a huge benefit to attend counseling as a family and there have been so many things that I have learned in my Family Relations class that help me feel like I have a head start.

Even though it has been hard on our family with the absence of a father and husband in our life, it has been good to grow closer together now. We have been able to adjust out family system, and each day we are learning new ways to improve our situation. We have had a first-hand example of things that we should and should do that we can learn from for the future. It is so important to watch and learn from those before you. Follow the good and change the undesirable.

It Goes Both Ways

There are many different types of parenting. One of the types of parenting is "Active Parenting" and this type is one of the best ways to raise your children. Communication is key to having a good and healthy relationships. There are five steps that you can do to be an active communicator.
1. Listen actively
2. Respond to Feelings
3. Look for alternatives to issues/ evaluate consequences
4. Offer Encouragement
5. Follow up Later

When you are active and involved in your childrens lives, they will feel greater love and support from you. One of the biggest things that both children and parents long for is the acceptance of each other.

Parenting is for the parents to learn just as much or more than the children. It is a two-way relationship. Many parents think that they deserve respect from children and although children do need to respect parents, (and everyone) children need to be respected too! Heavenly Father sends his children to down to parents and it is such a privilege to raise them.

Knowledge Is Never Wasted

This week we read an article by Dennis Prager titled, Does a Full-Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind for a Mop? and I loved it! I totally agree that a woman's education is not wasted in the home. There are so many things that we are learning and doing to prepare for having a family of our own. It takes a lot of work to be a mother and I know that the more schooling I get, the more prepared I will be to get married and have children. I learn something new every time I attend class and it is so great! I want to be educated and help my children become more educated in the things that they are learning. My mom didn't attend college and when I needed help with more complex homework, it was hard because she wasn't sure how to hlep. I know that many of us forget the little things that we learn, but the life lessons that are learned while attending college are more valuable than we realize. The more we know, the more we can teach. 
I want my kids to grow up loving to learn new things and the education and knowledge I gain will be very important in this happening.
When children have questions, we can share with them what we already know and then do more research with them about their question to get a better understanding. There is always something to be learned no matter our age. We should be continually learning and sharing our knowledge with others. 
Parents learn so much from children and I know that it is a privilege to be a mother!


In D&C 130:18 it reads, "Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection."
What a blessing it is to know that when we are resurrected, we will have all the knowledge that we have worked for here on earth. Everything we learn will benefit us at one point or another. 

More Heads Are Better Than One

While discussing counseling in councils we started out by talking about how the General Authorities of the LDS church go about meeting together. There are 5 specific things that they do each time they meet.
1. They show up early to express their love for one another
2. They open with prayer to invite the Spirit to guide them throughout their meeting
3. They discuss a topic keeping the Lord's will above
4. They close with prayer thanking Heavenly Father for the experience and asking for strength to carry through what they have made a decision about
5. They share refreshments together

Each of these things are done for a certain purpose and are a big part of each meeting. Could you imagine how much love there would be in a conversation if you first took the time to express your love for those that you are talking with? I feel and know that conversations would run a lot smoother if there was sincere love expressed before the meeting.
Asking for the Lord's guidance is something that will bring the Spirit and help the conversation go in the direction that is best.
When we keep the Lord's will in mind during conversations, we will have a much greater chance of making the right decision.
Closing with prayer is a great way to express gratitude and ask for strength to carry out the decisions or consensus that has come about through meeting.
Sharing refreshments together is more of an informal way to spend time together and once again express love for those around you.

If we are more thoughtful about counseling with our family's in a more sacred way, it will bring peace and love to our homes. There are decisions to be made quite often, and it is important to use our knowledge to the best that we can so that we will be able to make the right decision.

Stress Doesn't Have To Be A Mess

While talking about Stress and Family Crisis, it is important to define the following terms.
Stress: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances
Stressor: whatever is causing stress
Crisis: a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger

We all experience times in our life where we feel stressed. There are many different types of stressors like

• The loss of a job
• Divorce
• Loss of a loved one
• Illness
• Drugs
• Wayward family members
• Finances
• Natural Disasters
• Etc.

These stressors cause crises and can take a toll on a family. I have learned that even though these stressors are hard to deal with and can take time to understand and heal from, they are the greatest lessons to learn from. I love the quote by Leon Brown that says, "You may suffer many defeats in this life, but you will not be defeated. You will rise after each trial stronger and wiser." 

When we realize that there will be stress in life and that we can make it through hard times, we are more likely to deal with hard times in a healthy way. There are many different ways of respondeing to hard times, but it all depends on your attitude. One of the biggest stressors in my life was the loss of my father. I reacted differently than other family members and it has been a blessing to see how much I learned. Instead of being down on myself and staying in that mentality, I looked forward to making life better and doing what I could for it to be that way. It was a hard time and still is sometimes, but I have grown more than I thought was ever possible. 

When we have the Lord on our side, we will be able to make it through any of the stress or crises that come our way!

The Longer You Wait, The Better It Will Be

When people first thing about sex, they think of it as a negative thing. This is especailly true for LDS youth. It is so confusing to be told no, no, no, then get married and be told yes, yes, yes. When sex is had at the right time, it is one of the most sacred things. We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth and so it is crucial that it is done at the right time and after counseling with the Lord. 

There are many people that have a hard time addressing sexuality with their children and I think this brings more issues than they think it will. Kids are exposed to sexuality at a young age, and it is important to talk to them and clarify things. When they are educated, they are less likely to be curious explore things that you may not want them to explore yet. When you educate your children and do what you can to earn their trust, they will be able to come to you for answers to questions that they will have. 

I dont have children of my own yet, and I am still learning ways to talk to them about this subject, but I know that it is a topic that needs to be addressed. Sex is a sacred process that needs to be taken more seriously.

Together We Are Better

There are many things that a husband can do to stay involved in their child's life. One of the best things that can prepare a husband and wife for this is for them to Learn and Discover together. When a husband and wife and working together in the things that they are doing each day, it will make it easier to carry throughout the marriage as opposed to if they weren't doing things together. This will establish a good pattern of equality throughout the marriage. When issues arise, it is crucial to be humble and teachable to suggestions so that together couples can improve their marriage. Another important thing is to keep the husband involved with appointments before and after the baby is born. When he is there, he is able to learn and understand more of what is going on whether it is thoughts, feelings, concerns, etc. When the child is born, I think that it is super important for the husband to be there and as involved as possible. Even though the woman is giving birth, there are many things that the husband can be doing to support her and help things run smoother. After the child is born, it is common for tasks to increase and time between husband and wife to decrease. Couples need to make sure they are spending quality time together whenever possible. Another thing that the father can do is to make time to connect with the child. Whether it is coming home from work and playing with him/her, taking them to run errands, or doing whatever is available, this time together will strengthen their relationship and establish trust between them. When this healthy relationship is established early, it is more likely to carry on throughout life. 

Parenting is something that needs to be done together. It is crucial for both parents to connect with their children and stay involved in their lives. It is a very sacred responsilibility to raise God's children and it needs to be taken seriously. Every child deserves a mother and father that will love them and do their best to raise them righteously.